Successlessness

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Battle Beasts

I have long held that the most compelling television show ever would be if Animal Planet could throw out all their ethics and start a show pitting different types of animals in a fight to the death. It would be completely wrong and evil but just imagine: lion vs. tiger, tabby vs. chihuahua, toucan vs. parrot, cougar vs. wolf, eagle vs. leopard; cockroach vs. dung beetle, or two roosters vs. a single turkey. I'd hate myself for it but I'd be glued to the set for every episode; especially that rooster-turkey show down.

I was reminded of this idea by the upcoming Bears-Colts Super Bowl match up. Now an actual show down between a colt and a grizzly bear would be awesome. Would the young horse speed and kicking power overcome the grizzly's strength and agressiveness? I think it all depends on the size of the arena. The colt wins if it has room to run, but the bear takes it easily if its a fight in small quarters.

While not nearly as exciting as the real deal the videos on Bear vs. Colt are a welcome substitute. I'm rooting for Bear because Colt comes off as a total ass.

In the actual game I'm rather conflicted about who to root for as I have strong strain of hatred for both Peyton Mannning and Rex Grossman. Peyton has annoyed me for years with is goofy slack-jawed expression, lack of clutch play, over played TV ads, and the constant references to his brother and father. But at least Peyton is a great player, Rex is a mediocre Quarterback at best and comes of as a spoiled dumb frat boy that you wouldn't want to leave alone with your sister. So i think I have to root for the Colts, but thats a weak endoresment at best.

But who do I think will win? On paper I think the Colts, but he recent death of Barbaro has me wondering if this is going to be a bad week for colts all around or if the Indianapolis Colts will be inspired to avenge his death.

Screw it. Rex Grossman sucks. The Colts will win and cover

4 Comments:

At 1/31/2007 9:40 PM, Blogger Misty said...

I'm going to take the roosters over the turkey.

Also, I believe that the Colts will avenge the death of Barbaro and come out victorious.

 
At 2/03/2007 11:14 PM, Blogger merychippus said...

Eagle vs. leopard?? Where'd you come up with that one?

 
At 2/05/2007 4:57 PM, Blogger FCW said...

I'm pleased that through the powers of my chicken gumbo and a laser rocket arm, Peyton was able to pull it off. But then, I'm smitten by the cromagnan QB from NOLA. There's something yokel enough in him to make me feel like I'm home.

 
At 2/06/2007 11:26 AM, Blogger sprizee said...

You totally called it.

 

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