Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

Comedian Mitch Hedberg is dead. Likely from a drug overdose. That really fucking sucks. Here's some choice Mitch quotes:

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long."

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

"I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist."

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said 'Fuck it. Cut 'em up.'"

"I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips."

"I got an ant farm. Them fellas don't grow shit."

"If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up."

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

More comedic brilliance here.